


The Black-Necked Spitting Cobra

by sadly_i_am_the_cutest



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Police, Alternate universe - Mafia, M/M, Multi, Other, Police Officer Choi Seungcheol, Police Officer Kim Mingyu, Police Officer Kwon Soonyoung, Police Officer Min Yoongi | Suga, more tags to be added as the story goes on - Freeform, seokjin is a model with connections lol, yoongi namjoon and seokjin are married
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-16 23:26:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14820918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadly_i_am_the_cutest/pseuds/sadly_i_am_the_cutest
Summary: “Please tell me those panties don’t say what I think they do,” Seungkwan breathes in awe.“They do,” Hansol affirms. They stare at each other for a moment before breaking out in full-blown stomach hurting laughter.





	1. Daddy's

**Author's Note:**

> haha writer's block is a bitch I finally was able to write   
> uh the next chapter will def be longer and be more in-depth about what the hell is going on I just wanted to get this posted before I forgot or doubted my writing so yeah enjoy ig

“We know that you participated in a crime.”

“I’ve committed many crimes according to the police, you’re going to have to be more specific.”

Seungcheol stares through the glass at the man whom Soonyoung is trying to interrogate. To no avail that is, because this tiny man, Lee Jihoon, has yet to crack. He wears a black turtleneck, Seungcheol thinks he can see the edges of a tattoo sticking out of the top, skinny jeans and some converse and still manages to look intimidating. Seungcheol shivers, sighing when he sees Soonyoung’s façade fall for a moment and winces.

“Are you going to charge me, Officer Kwon?” Jihoon drawls, lowly, looking up at Soonyoung blankly. When Soonyoung stays silent, Jihoon stands. “That’s what I thought,” Jihoon murmurs, walking towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Soonyoung asks, eyes following him.

Jihoon checks his watch swiftly before opening the door, “Your twenty-four no-charge holding hours are up.” He smiles at Soonyoung, “See you around, Officer Kwon.” The door slams and Seungcheol is greeted with Jihoon’s blank face.

The man, surprisingly, tips his head in a slight bow before continuing on his way out of the police station. 

Jihoon can feel himself shake with anxiety. He can feel his heart pound in his chest. Jihoon can’t believe that stupid ruse had worked. He considers thanking Wonwoo for teaching him on how to school his emotions into a blank face, steadying his voice and being someone else. Jeonghan had helped too, but Jihoon didn’t want to thank him, it’d just inflate his ego. 

Jihoon takes a deep breath and turns to walk down the sideway. Might as well stop at his apartment before hitting up Hansol’s place. He’s in need of a good fuck anyway. 

*

“Jeon Wonwoo!” Wonwoo blinks, pausing in his steps to turn and see a man run towards him. When the man catches up with him, Wonwoo keeps walking. He hears the man sputter in surprise before following after him. He shows Wonwoo a badge, stating that he’s a police officer and asks if he can ask Wonwoo some questions.

“Of course, Officer,” Wonwoo raises his brows in question.

“Mingyu, er, Kim Mingyu.”

“Officer Kim,” Wonwoo finishes. Mingyu asks a few routine questions as they walk along before asking the important one.

“Where were you yesterday at 8:36 pm?” Mingyu inquires, tucking the information Wonwoo had already given him into his mind.

“I was with Lee Jihoon, at a club, The Black Cobra.”

*

Soonyoung can’t believe this, Seungcheol had sent him and Mingyu to go question Jihoon about Wonwoo’s alibi, even though he’s sure he had asked Jihoon about it yesterday. Seungcheol says to always check again because the story might change. 

Mingyu knocks and a few seconds later the door opens, revealing a very annoyed Jihoon. The small man has a large, loose white t-shirt on that’s slipping off his shoulder. What makes Soonyoung’s eyes widen are the hickies trailing up his neck and under his jaw. Not only hickies are there but a tattoo, one that Soonyoung hadn’t noticed earlier. It’s a snake, curled around his shoulders, the realistic mouth open as though it will bite Soonyoung on the direct middle of Jihoon’s neck. Soonyoung recognizes the snake, a black-necked spitting cobra. Damn Yoongi hyung’s boyfriend’s strange interests.

“Yes?” Jihoon growls, glaring at the both of them. 

“Sorry to disturb you, Jihoon-ssi,” Mingyu says, “We just have a few follow up questions. May we come in?” 

Jihoon regards Mingyu with a strange look on his face before nodding, opening the door fully to let them in. 

“Tea?” 

Mingyu nods, “Please.” 

Soonyoung follows after him, eyeing the apartment. Anything illegal in plain sight is fair game, though he’s sure Jihoon knows better than to have anything here. So far, all Soonyoung sees is a couch, a coffee table, a few lamps, a T.V. and several shelves, filled with books. Jihoon leads them into a kitchen/dining room area and gestures for them to sit at a small bar, turning to make them tea. Which is when Soonyoung notices the fact that the former doesn’t exactly have pants on, which Soonyoung had known, sort of abstractly, but it didn’t hit him until now when Jihoon bends over to grab something and Mingyu and Soonyoung get an eyeful of the panties he’s wearing. A very pretty pink pair of panties, with on word on them. ‘Daddy’s.’

He shares a look with Mingyu, who also looks like he’s dying of embarrassment and swallows. They might be here awhile because Soonyoung doubts that either of them will be able to speak without stuttering as flustered as they are.

*

Hansol chokes on his coffee when he gets a text from Wonwoo hyung. It’s a video from one of the cameras in Jihoon hyung’s apartment. 

“Seungkwan,” he says, trying not to cry from laughter. “Come here.” Seungkwan leans over his shoulder to look at the video.

It’s of Jihoon hyung, bent over for maybe three seconds, in his kitchen. There are two police officers sitting at his bar, staring at his ass for a moment before sharing a very flustered look. 

“Please tell me those panties don’t say what I think they do,” Seungkwan breathes in awe. 

“They do,” Hansol affirms. They stare at each other for a moment before breaking out in full-blown stomach hurting laughter. 

*

“So what did you want to ask me?” 

Mingyu gulps, nudging Soonyoung discreetly.

“Uh, we just needed to confirm an alibi,” Soonyoung answers, slowly. 

“Wonwoo’s I’m assuming.” Mingyu blinks. No honorific? Soonyoung nods. 

“He said the two of you were at The Black Cobra from 6 pm to 11.” It’s a lie, but they need to see if the story holds up. Mingyu can’t help but praise Soonyoung silently in his head, he would’ve never thought to do that.

Jihoon shakes his head, “No, if I remember correctly, we were only there from 7 to about 9:40 or so. I think we left around then and came back here.”

Soonyoung glances at Mingyu, who nods. ‘That’s what Wonwoo said,’ the nod tells Soonyoung. They’re going to have to find a different suspect.

“But I did see someone leaving around 8:00, Kim Taehyung.”

Soonyoung and Mingyu share a look, or maybe not. 

*


	2. Paperwork

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyyyyy another chapter! already! I've been working on it and thought well why not just post it early lol. dunno when the next update will be but uh, enjoy!

“So what is the actual crime?” Namjoon, Yoongi’s boyfriend asks, staring at the whiteboard Mingyu and Soonyoung have been writing on for over an hour. When Mingyu hesitates Namjoon sighs. “Give me a hypothetical.”

“Then,” Soonyoung says striding back over to the whiteboard, “Hypothetically, three people are dead, six people are injured and.” He pauses to take a breath and Mingyu decides to butt in from his swivel chair next to the whiteboard.

“And,” Mingyu continues, “More than 9 small prostitution rings have been getting really sloppy, which means sex crimes have taken them down.”

“What’s the common denominator?” Namjoon queries, clicking his pen from his spot on Yoongi hyung’s desk.

“They’re all connected to the gang ‘running’ this part of Seoul.” Soonyoung answers, shooting Mingyu a dirty look for the interruption. 

“So,” Namjoon assumes, “The Black Cobra. They’re getting sloppy. Why? What’s our catalyst?” 

“Well,” Yoongi grumbles from behind them, (Mingyu and Soonyoung do _not_ jump, thank you _very_ much,) “Two other gangs, Golden Stars and Blue Kings are trying to slowly but surely take their territory.”

“A gang war.”

They all turn, it’s Seungcheol and he looks rather somber.

“I’d rather have heavy prostitution and drug selling going on than an all-out gang war, to be honest with you. Fewer casualties that way.”

“Then why not just do that? Damage control, I mean. Settle the issues between the gangs or help take out the ones threatening The Black Cobra. Don’t you guys have a deal with them anyway? The whole, don’t kill too many civilians and maybe drop us a few criminals every month and we won’t try too hard to arrest you, deal?” Namjoon says, arms crossed, half leaning on Yoongi, who looks proud of his boyfriend. 

“And just how, exactly, do you suggest we do that?” Seungcheol looks more amused than angry, Soonyoung notes thankfully. 

“Hypothetically,” Namjoon starts, looking thoughtful, “You give an officer or two,” his eyes dart to Mingyu and Soonyoung, “A month of training to go undercover and set up the new deal with The Black Cobra.”

“Hypothetically,” Seungcheol notes.

“Of course,” Namjoon agrees. “Hypothetically.”

Seungcheol sighs then turns to look at Yoongi.

“Where’d you pick him up? We might as well start paying him with how much of our job he does.”

Yoongi smiles, “On the corner of Stupid and Genius. Never looked back.”

Seungcheol hums, “Keep him. We might need him later on,” before walking back to his office. Most likely to begin planning the operation. 

Mingyu sighs, “This just means more paperwork.”

*

“Do you still want us to check out Kim Taehyung?” Mingyu queries, only to be elbowed by Soonyoung who had hoped he’d forget so they wouldn’t have to.

“No,” Seungcheol says, “Drop the investigation. You’ll have something else to do soon enough.”

 

*

“You want me to _what_?”

“You heard me,” Jisoo says, looking at Jihoon from his intimidating desk. “Jeonghan and I have decided to agree to the deal. You will be teaching these officers how to be a member of The Black Cobra. No ifs ands or buts about it, Jihoon.”

Jihoon drops his head into his hands.

“Fuck you,” he growls into his hands. “I don’t know the first thing about how to tell someone to be ruthless, emotionless and to tuck away their old life to build an entirely new one.”

“No,” Jisoo states, eyes glancing at the clock. “But you did it. And you’ll do this, now go.”

Jihoon runs a hand through his hair and leaves the darkened room, slamming the door unforgiving behind him. 

He runs into Hansol on the way down and ignores his concerned, “Hey man, you okay?” All he wants to do is get a carton of cigarettes and chain smoke his way into hell.

*  
Wonwoo blinks when the apartment door slams open, startling him out of his book. The next thing that surprises him is when Jihoon bursts into his bedroom, hair a tangled mess, which Wonwoo assumes is from running his hands through his hair, and looking frustrated. 

“Cigarettes, I need cigarettes.” He gasps out. “Where’d you put ‘em?”

Wonwoo sighs, “In the kitchen, wine glass cabinet.”

“Thank you.”

Wonwoo hears quick footsteps pad into the kitchen, hears the cabinet door open, hears the faint flicker of a lighter and a breathless, “Thank god,” before the door to the balcony slides open and closes quietly. 

Wonwoo groans aloud, Jihoon was trying to quit.

*

It’s three am when Jihoon finally finds his way to Wonwoo, tucked into the elder’s bed. Wonwoo runs a hand through Jihoon’s hair, calming him down significantly. 

“What’s your plan?” Wonwoo murmurs quietly.

“Dirty cops turned gang members,” Jihoon answers back, just as quiet. He seems to be half asleep. Wonwoo’s eyes never stray from his book as he asks his next question. 

“Think it’ll work?”

“I don’t know, hyung. I’m tired, I just smoked two packs of cigarettes, all I want to do is sleep and deal with it in the morning.”

“Technically,” Wonwoo starts, only to have Jihoon lightly smack his hand over his mouth. Wonwoo kisses it. Jihoon sighs, pulls his hand away and closes his eyes. Wonwoo feels a small smile tug at his lips and puts his bookmark on his page before setting his book on his bedside table. He clicks off the lamp. Tomorrow’s going to be a hell of a day.  
*

“You chose Kim and Kwon, didn’t you?” Yoongi realizes, staring at Seungcheol. He chuckles, leaning forward his seat in front of Seungcheol’s desk, who smiles nervously. “Let me take a guess, Seokjin called you.” Yoongi seems more amused than upset so Seungcheol relaxes slightly. 

“Yes, well, both of your boyfriends can be very persuasive,” the younger of the two admits. 

“Fiancés,” Yoongi corrects, twisting the new silver ring on his left hand. “Seokjin proposed last night.” 

Seungcheol smiles, “Congratulations, Yoongi hyung.”

It’s Yoongi’s turn to smile, albeit smaller, “Thank you.” 

“Do you think it was wise to pick them?”

“Time will tell, Cheol-ah.” 

*

“Hey,” Jihoon stirs to the sound of Wonwoo softly speaking to him. “Jisoo hyung wants to speak with you at noon.”

Jihoon groans, throwing an arm over his eyes, “What time is it?”

“11:45.”

“Fuck it, I’ll be late,” Jihoon grumbles.

“15 minutes late with Starbucks late or I rolled out of bed and got here a minute late?” Wonwoo asks.

“15 minutes with Starbucks.”

*

Jisoo taps his foot impatiently, Jihoon should’ve been here fifteen minutes ago. The elevator dings, out steps Jihoon, sun glasses pushed up onto his head and Starbucks in hand. Jisoo shakes his head in disappointment.

“Kwon, Kim this is Lee Jihoon, he’s going to spend the next month training you, that is if he shows up on time.”

Jihoon doesn’t even look sheepish, just shrugs, “Wonwoo woke me up at 45 I don’t know what you expected, hyung.” 

“For you to be on time and not show up with Starbucks,” Jisoo snarls before straightening his stance. He looks like a bird settling his ruffled feathers back into place. 

“Fortinbras enters, 15 minutes late with Starbucks,” Jihoon says dryly. 

“Are you saying you’re off to fight in a war, Jihoon ah?” Jeonghan asks, passing by. 

“Yep!” Jihoon calls after him, “The one to get Jisoo hyung to stop trying to wake me up before noon!” They hear Jeonghan laugh before disappearing into a room.

“If you’ll please listen for a moment,” Jisoo grumbles, gesturing at Soonyoung and Mingyu. “These are your new charges, try not to get them killed, Jihoon.” Jisoo turns on his heel and stomps away, likely to go drop into Jeonghan’s waiting arms. 

There’s a moment of silence between the three of them as Jihoon studies them for a second. 

“Come on,” he murmurs, “We’ve got work to do. Starting with your clothes.”

Soonyoung squawks, “What’s wrong with my clothes?!”

*


	3. Gunshots and Groping

“Wonwoo,” Jihoon grumbles into the phone, “Where are you?” His eyes search the other side of the street, lined with cars. 

“Yah! That’s hyung to you,” Soonyoung hears from the other side of the phone as Jihoon rolls his eyes fondly. “And I’m across the street in the black Lamborghini.”

An engine rumbles to prove Wonwoo’s point.

“Subtle,” Mingyu notes. Jihoon laughs, saying a quick goodbye to Wonwoo before hanging up. 

“So,” Soonyoung starts as they cross the street (on the crosswalk because Jihoon may be a gangster but he’s not a monster), “What’s wrong with my clothes?” 

“Our,” Mingyu corrects.

Jihoon glances back at them for a moment, “You dress like off-duty police officers.” As Soonyoung sputters, Mingyu blinks in surprise, looking down at his outfit, realizing Jihoon is right. He looks back at Jihoon and looks over the elder’s outfit. He’s wearing black heart sunglasses, a loose t-shirt that says ‘I’m going to hell anyway,’ tucked into some light washed out blue jeans with holes, and you can see fishnets in the rather large holes and some vans. Jihoon looks like someone dangerous and Mingyu thinks that’s probably the point. 

Jihoon walks over to a black Lamborghini, waving at the driver who waves back. Jihoon opens the side door, Mingyu and Soonyoung about to as well when several gunshots ring out.

“Get in the car, now!” Wonwoo shouts, all of them piling in quickly. Soonyoung had barely closed the door as Wonwoo slams on the gas.

“Jesus fucking Christ, who taught you to drive?!” Soonyoung shouts. He hears Jihoon laugh as Mingyu crushes him because of the sharp turn Wonwoo had made.

“How do we even know they’re after us anyway?” Mingyu asks, getting off of Soonyoung to sit up, attempting to put on a seatbelt. Another gunshot sounds and one of the side mirrors gets a bullet lodged in it. “Never mind.” 

“Hyung,” Jihoon calls over the loud sounds of guns being fired, “Where did you put the ammo?” He’s got the glove compartment opened and is peering inside. Only, it’s empty. 

“Uh,” Wonwoo says, focused on the road and trying not to crash. “Trunk, I think.”

“What the fuck. Why would you put ammo in the trunk?” Jihoon snarls, climbing into the backseat. “Is the back still-”

“Yeah.” 

Jihoon rolls his eyes, pulling the middle seat down as Mingyu and Soonyoung try to stay out of his way. It’s surprisingly open, and there’s a clear view of the trunk.

“Thank god for being tiny,” he huffs, squeezing the upper half of his body into the trunk, reaching around for the little ammo containers. Mingyu and Soonyoung on the other side have a pretty full view of Jihoon’s backside, his shirt haven ridden up and giving a clear view of his back and the gun tucked into the back of his pants. Wonwoo makes another sharp turn and there go Soonyoung’s hands, trying to steady himself. On Jihoon’s ass. 

“Watch it!” Jihoon snarls, although it’s slightly muffled. 

“Sorry!” Soonyoung apologizes, flustered. He can see Wonwoo laughing to himself in the rearview mirror. Mingyu chuckles, too. He stops when Soonyoung smacks his arm. A second later, Jihoon’s top half returns from the trunk, holding some ammo and looking slightly flushed. Wonwoo makes yet another stupid fucking turn and Jihoon shoves Soonyoung into Mingyu to lean out the window, loading the gun and searching for the car(s?) after them. The thing is, however, the car(s?) following them are gone, nowhere in sight. Meaning, Jihoon just got groped for no reason.

“They’re gone,” Jihoon says in disbelief, climbing into the front seat, _accidentally_ stepping on Soonyoung’s dick. He hears Soonyoung groan in pain and smirks to himself in satisfaction. Karma, fucker. 

*

“Now what?” Mingyu asks once they’re all situated and peacefully driving. (Jihoon and Wonwoo had switched due to everyone screaming at him for running a red light and almost getting them in a car crash.) 

“Wow, Jihoonie, you were right when you said they need new clothes.”

“Hey!” Soonyoung grumbles. Mingyu rolls his eyes.

“Hyung,” he says, referring to Jihoon, “Why do we need new clothes? Besides the reason you said earlier.”

Wonwoo catches Jihoon sit up a little straighter in his seat, though his eyes stay on the street. He loves being called hyung. 

“There’s sort of a dress code for being in a gang?” Jihoon doesn’t sound sure of how to explain it so Wonwoo takes over.

“You need to have a certain, vibe. Unless you’re not being open about being in the gang but even then, it’s hard to hide your tattoo. Besides, you two will play the role of bodyguards for Jihoonie and I here. That way it’ll be easier to explain why you don’t have tattoos, because you’re still being initiated.” Wonwoo explains, turned in his seat to face Soonyoung and Mingyu, who listen carefully. 

“Anyway,” Jihoon continues, “Bodyguards are usually in formal wear or casual business wear, so we’ll be getting you suits or the like.” 

Wonwoo looks at Jihoon, “I’m assuming we’re stopping at Seokjin hyung’s?”

“Yep.”

“Wait,” Mingyu interrupts, “Kim Seokjin? The model dating Min Yoongi and Kim Namjoon?”

“Yeah,” Jihoon confirms, glancing at Mingyu from the rearview mirror. “You know him?”

Mingyu and Soonyoung share a look, “Sort of.”

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> felt really short but i was busy this week lol so yeah hope you enjoyed


End file.
